Solve for X: One Dare + One Hypothesis = X

I dare you to be in my heart right now.

Maybe this is what we should say to family, friends, co-workers, fellow students, acquaintances, strangers in the street… I dare you to be in my heart right now. As in, “I dare you to imagine how I feel, how I think, how I believe.” As in, “I dare you to consider how my world and my experiences and my hurt has shaped me.” As in, “I dare you to try to understand.”

We’re itching inside to be kind. As people, we sit around bickering and condescending and inciting when if we’d just admit that we want to be kind, that we want to love one another, we’d be creating something staggering. Humanity is staggering.

A friend recently asked me why we, as people, make things so complicated. My hypothesis: We twist and turn and grip at our emotions until their unrecognizable. We lie to ourselves so we can lie to other people. We stop saying, “I need help.” We start smiling and saying, “I’m good.” How are you becomes a greeting and not a question. We don’t wait for the other person to answer. We don’t want to know; we want to answer ourselves. And I wonder if we don’t just do all this because we’re afraid. No, I hypothesis that we are afraid.

We’re afraid to sit down with someone we know is suffering and replace how are you with “How’s the pain today? How can I help ease the pain today?” We’re afraid to sit down with someone we don’t know is suffering and replace how are you with “What’s in your heart today?” If they’re not okay, maybe then they’d be able to speak.

We’re crushing the staggering capability of humanity, and we’re ignoring the itch rather than addressing it. You can pull a T. Swift and try to shake it off right now, try to shake this post off right now…but it won’t change what’s swirling inside your gut. It won’t heal you if you need healing. It certainly won’t heal anyone else.

With that said… I dare you to be in each other’s hearts right now.

One thought on “Solve for X: One Dare + One Hypothesis = X

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  1. I believe this highly technical age that we live in has helped to create this situation where we don’t really communicate in an honest way. Our phones are always at the ready, so we don’t even strike up conversations while waiting in line or for an appointment. The phrase ‘how are you’ isn’t really asking for an honest answer as you point out. While Facebook, twitter, messaging apps and other social media apps would have us believe we are so much more connected with each other and the world than before, the truth is we have lost the art of honest conversation, the ability to listen and respond in a way that helps people open up and be genuine. In doing this we shut ourselves off from being honest with ourselves, and that creates a situation where we all just wear a mask that we hide behind.
    This is a great post Nik. Several of your points really hit home. I wonder if anyone else has had a similar reaction. In truth, we all just have ourselves and each other and I truly believe we are here to help one another.

    Liked by 1 person

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