In an earlier post, I presented a list I compiled of 50 things that make me feel good. In a moment lacking inspiration, with over thirty minutes of my daily writing time still to fill, I needed something to go on—I found a middle school prompt that I initially thought would take mere minutes, but required the rest of my writing time for the day to complete. To expand on this writing project, I began an effort to discuss each of the 50 entries, and this post is a result of that project. Read the list at the original post, here.
If you and I stood in line together at Starbucks or some other over-priced yet strangely delicious coffee shop just five years ago, I would throat punch you if you told me that I’d soon be writing a blog post where I admitted my daughter’s smile could make me feel good. I’d likely throat punch you just for suggesting I’d have a daughter one day, but that would mostly be a cover-up for my own insecurities at the time.
Now, this is quite possibly the most ridiculous smile on the planet. In the first photo, she looks like a drunk that fell asleep on a friend’s chest at the bar, blissed out on six rum ’n cokes after drunk chain-smoking about sixteen cigarettes.
In that second photo, she is smiling in that sinister sort of way you see when someone realizes you just realized you’re point has no validity whatsoever. It’s that “Yeah, that’s what I thought” smile.
What exactly is going on in photo three? I posit that this smile is what you’d see if you waved a can of spray cheese wildly above a teenage boy’s head while promising to squirt it into his mouth. To be honest, I might smile like that tomorrow for the promise of flying canned cheese.
The smile in photo four is a bit more mature, now that she is older and wiser (she’s packing two months of wisdom, you see). There is a slight twinge of I’m-going-to-be-ruining-your-life-in-awesome-ways-for-the-next-twenty-years-minimum behind this smile, and I am positive she is plotting some artful plan that will take at least twenty years to see through.
Despite her clearly darker intentions, it does make me feel good when she smiles. If I am the cause of that smile, my heart sways and tippy-tippy-tays like an old-school Dean Martin jam. This must be a parent’s affliction because when babies would smile at me before, I’d just be like, “Don’t smile at me, baby.”
Just out of curiosity, I typed in “baby smiles” on Google, and boy, are there some creepy smiles out there. There are other smiles too, that aren’t so much creepy, but a little…something else. Take a look at some of these baby smiles (these are not my babies-the image URL is available by right-clicking on the photographs).
Random baby number one is destined for Slytherin house one day, as it is clear from this photo she is attempting to speak the ill-fated parsletongue. Harry Potter may be able to give her some tips, but he’d better watch those teeth. She may not have many, but the ones she does have look strong.
Random baby number two is a good ole boy in training. Truly! From the overalls to the charming smile to the eyes that promise good manners and charity, it is clear this baby is trying to exude goodness. Bring on the tight Levi’s, muddin’ trucks, and calloused hands—this baby boy is ready.
Can I get a shoutout from random baby number three, wherever he or she may be now? This is the “Zen-master, yoga teacher, extraordinare” baby. Not only can this baby downward dog like a pro, but he or she is so balanced and happy she is making your grown self look bad. You might want to go practice some breathing exercises so you can catch up with this level of inner peace.
Random baby number four is an open and shut case—pirate in training. She traded twelve gold doubloons for the photo shoot, and she is reppin’ that pirate ‘cred hard. She asked her mother about buying her a scary looking pirate hat to cover that blonde hair, because the light-colored hair is challenging her “dictator of the seas” title.
Okay, okay, let’s back it up just a bit, though. You’re own baby’s smile is the most amazing and awe-inspiring sight in the world. Even if you hate all other baby smiles (and that’s fine—I support you!), nothing beats the smile of your little girl or little boy. When I look at Sky and she smiles, I feel good. That’s why her smile made my list of 50 things. That’s why she’s staying there, too.